Ye Olde House of Ill Repute

3/20/08 09:58 pm - @_@

Who the hell uses RMVB? It is teh suck. I hereby refuse to download fsucking RMVB files because realplayer is teh suck. Hallo thar, btchina, you peoples really need to get with the rest o' the world on this one. And no, I would NOT like to waste hours converting between formats, and no, I DON'T like how your idiot format merges the dual language sound tracks so that the fsucking Korean is still playing over the fsucking Mandarin, thereby making both languages absolutely unintelligible. Or maybe that's just because Mr. Uploader's dvdrip skillz are teh suck. Jeezus, if ya can't pirate correctly, best not pirate at all. Tsk, tsk.

You might be wondering why I don't just get some English subs, but that's because I like spreading the joy. Meaning dearest mother is kind of obsessed with Kdrama, but sadly understands neither Korean nor English. Well, not very well, anyway. And I'd rather not play translator anymore, and the jokes translate much better to Chinese than English. Meh. My connection is the worst thing ever and I should probably stop downloading anyway. I'm betting it'll take an entire month to get in a whole series.

:(

...Um, yeah. So then I not-so-secretly got the Brothertron hooked on KKM. I gave him the first season and half of the second season sometime way back. And then I discover that he's been grabbing the dubs from Squishfest-Jacob. This is actually somewhat creepy. What are the chances of two supposedly straight best friends sharing the joys of not-quite-fagime with each other? Oh my Jesus, they are so in-denial gay. My brother is less than 4 months from 24 and has never had a girlfriend and he likes KKM. Squishfest-Jacob is 24 and has never had a girlfriend and likes KKM.

I take back my past uncertainties. THEY. ARE. SO. GAY. TOGETHER. I'm also going to bet that they haven't done anything "like that", mostly because the thought of the Brothertron doing things "like that" is gross, but also partly because they're both awkward nerd-types who wouldn't really know what to do.

But actually, a couple months from now, I'll probably be back to thinking that I was imagining things and that "oh, he's not gay - he's a late bloomer!" Meanwhile, I'll entertain myself with the thought that the Brothertron will come out to me 10 seconds after the parentals kick the bucket. We'll have to be at least in our late 30s by then, though, unless my other daydream scenario comes true and we're attacked by space pirates and sold as slaves to the Esteemed Councilmen of Xenorkian-5. Then he'd totally tell me while we're huddled together in a dingy cage, sobbing and planning a prison-break with the other captives.

And oh gawd. I bought STARBUCKS today. I am such a CONSUMER WHORE!!!111! Could kill mahself, srsly.

• Eat a brain!

3/13/08 02:22 pm - i r clevar

Oral midterms are yuck (because oral is only good when it precedes xxx). But I R so clevar!!! Made up a story about arguing with a friend over where to go for summer vacation, and I named her... dun dun dun... 香华

Like as in Xianghua from Soul Calibur. Lol, gamer-dork FTW!

• 1 brain devoured
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3/12/08 10:36 pm - break?

I want to go back for spring break, but the old house has been emptied out and everyone's moved into the apartment by now. I wonder what they did with all my stuff, but then again, it's probably better if I just pretend it was all tossed out. It's not like I had much to leave behind, anyway. All the old artwork is probably gone, even if I somehow manage to keep my desk and the remainder of my closet (by which I mean the 2 t-shirts and ratty pair of pants that I didn't bring along). My paintings were all shoved into a large garbage bag and dumped in the basement long before I left. Yeah, they're gone.

Though somehow, according to the Brothertron, our couches, the ones that have been broken for many, many years, are still around. Oh, and I mean BROKEN. Those fancy reclining seats? Yeah, let's just say you CAN'T sit upright anymore. Not to mention all those holes where the filling peeks out... And the parrot-shit-stains...

Y'know, that's most likely how my parents can afford to put me through (public) college. We keep the same broken furniture for neigh on 15 years and wear the same clothes for as long as they fit. When they accumulate more than 3 holes, they become washcloths. Gods, I'm like that, too. Had this one (free) t-shirt...from 5th grade to high school graduation, when it finally, FINALLY grew a giant hole in one sleeve. And it still fit! (Because it was like a large, shapeless bag when I first got it.)

I do have a horrible excuse for that, though. FUJIAN, BABY. For serious. Tell that to any Chinese person and they'll be like "Oh! Oh~ THOSE motherfucking penny-pinchers!" Yes, Fujian: like Taiwan, only poor, and with slightly less hatred of the Japanese. Slightly. Like this much |--| less. Or at least that's how the stereotype goes.

If there's one thing I've learned from finally being exposed to other Chinese-Americans, it's that we're all bastards and stereotype ourselves based on ancestral provinces, sometimes with startling accuracy, other times completely off, but there be shits and giggles. In a nutshell, Northerners are all doctors and lawyers (*cough*richpricks*cough*)and eat donkeys and cats. Southerners all own restaurants (because they're too uneducated to do anything else) and eat anything that moves plus some that don't because they're too fucking poor to be picky. The Fujianese also have the added benefit of being seen as liars and cheapskates who'll do any dirty job to get money, cut corners to save money, and never spend said money.

And I'm rambling again. Someone needs to tell me to shut up when I do this. But yeah, this ramble-session brought to you by today's class discussion on culture in the ESL classroom, wherein I failed to find an appropriate answer to the survey question, "What do you call your people?" and promptly thought, "Well shit, do I even have a people?"

Cue random bouts of cultural insecurity. Then I was like, "fuck it" and went to that little Indian take-out shack for some deleecious curry.

• Eat a brain!

3/9/08 11:17 pm - Hey there, part-timer...

So I hear you're a high schooler/part-time Target cashier. Nice. By the way, I'd appreciate it if you could maybe sort of... oh, I dunno... NOT question my decision to purchase Cooking Mama 2. I know, I know. You're too "hip" of a fashion-forward metro girl to play video games and whatnot, but really. I can damn well play frilly cooking games if I want to, especially if it helps me stay away from the REAL knives during midterms. Hey, that's a surgical steel "Forever Sharp" set I gots there in mah REAL kitchen. I cans shows yew, yes?

Also, please to not question my ice cream. Just because it's an odd flavor you've never heard of doesn't mean it's not made of deliciousness, like all ice cream is. Thank you.

--Creepy Customer Who Maybe Freaked You Out a Bit (Sorry)

• 2 brains devoured
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3/5/08 09:03 pm - is moving tiem!

Once upon a tiem, Kacie had an LJ and never used it, then deleted it. Then when GJ had its happy seizure tiem, she gots another one, and didn't use that either.

Until naow. (Dundundun...)

It's ok. I'll still stick around here, but since it's kind of dead, I figure I'll start using the other one, too.

Is here.

• 5 brains devoured
• Eat a brain!

3/1/08 05:52 pm - lethal infectious diseases get me all hot and bothered

Firstly, the window. It fell off sometime during the night. When I woke up, it had fallen down 3 stories and smashed into a pile of "hey, wasn't that up here just a few hours ago?" No worries, though. Mah windows is double-layered, so there's still another flimsy layer to protect me from the outside. Haha...

Other than that, nothing much, though I think I've rediscovered my love of Biosafety Level 4 hot agents. Ok, yeah, I know it's probably considered totally unnatural to get all excited over filoviruses, but they're sexxay. And yeah, "normal" teenage girls probably don't squeal in gleeful/morbid fascination over flesh-eating bacteria, either, so you'll just have to deal. (I say "normal" because most teenage girls are a blight on the multiverse anyway; this very likely includes me.)

I remember the good old human anatomy class days... Ah, those days when my ungodly love of Ebola and Marburg frightened a good number of classmates... The virus-shipping cooled down a bit afterwards, but I'm getting back into it. And I still want that damn Ebola plushy. (Don't forget flesh-eating and black death!) Exotic diseases were meant to be cuddled.

So I'm reading The Hot Zone, and of course the info is outdated and certain facts have been exaggerated quite a bit in that book, but it's still fun. Strangely, I hear that most people gain interest in this type of pathology after reading the book, and I haven't touched it until now. It reads like a cheesy B horror. And that's what makes it so great.

"He leans over, head on his knees, and brings up an incredible quantity of blood form his stomach and spills it onto the floor with a gasping groan. He loses consciousness and pitches forward onto the floor. The only sound is a choking in his throat as he continues to vomit blood and black matter while unconscious. Then comes a sound like a bed sheet being torn in half, which is the sound of his bowels opening and venting blood from the anus. The blood is mixed with intestinal lining. He has sloughed his gut."

Sexy, yes?

I especially like how it compares Marburg sufferers to zombies. Exaggerated? Slightly. Awesome? Hells yes, because then that totally backs up my theory that the T-Virus and the G-Virus in Resident Evil are filoviruses that were altered for biological warfare. Uh huh. The Progenitor Virus wuz liek Marburg and leech-rabies' fuxxed up love children having a big kinky orgy inside of Dr. Marcus. I say this in the most scientific way possible.

Don't ask about the plagas. Parasites are not my specialty. Best guess? Mutant tapeworm from Mars. For serious! There have been documented cases of tapeworms moving their way around the body, sometimes lodging in the spinal column. In one case, a 7-inch tapeworm in a woman's spine slowly crawled upwards toward her brain, causing increasingly severe seizures along the way. It would have killed her if it got up there, but the doctors were able to remove it while it was still in her neck. And that, my friends, is the extent of my knowledge of tapeworms, minus a smattering of barf-inducing you-really-didn't-need-to-know facts that I'll refrain from telling you. But, you know, if that tapeworm were capable of mind control, then it would be RE4! Hooray!

Um...the end? Sorry. I get a little too...enthusiastic sometimes when it comes to my cute deadly microbes.

P.S. The correct plural of "octopus", going by its Greek roots, is "octopodes". On the off chance that someone discovers a mutant octopus with 9 limbs, I stongly suggest that we call it an enneapus. In my world, squid are now decapodes. And on the off chance that someone discovers a mutant squid with 13 limbs, I'm all for the treiskaidecapus. This is my new ultimate goal in life.

• Eat a brain!

2/29/08 07:50 pm - Holy. Shit.

Did I do that? Apparently. Yeesh...guess I don't know my own strength or something.

In short, I went to fiddle with the window and I think maybe I broke it. Not the glass, mind you. THE WINDOW. Like the metal bits on the side? Yeah, those. Well let's just say one side somehow magically broke free of its screws when I pushed lightly pressed didn't touch it at all, and is no longer attached to the building. Uhh... So my window is dangling over the parking lot now, and that kinda sucks.

I think maybe it's time to call maintenance, lol.

• 6 brains devoured
• Eat a brain!

2/21/08 02:39 pm - DANGER: eagles in my coco wheats

I think I'm having a quarter-life crisis. And it makes me giggle. Moooooouuuuuuuuurrrrgh. Aaaaa~

Don't mind me - I'm just venting frustrations out on ze poor computah.

I don't know if I'll be going back home for spring break. The U's break and the ELC's break might clash and I'll be teaching then. I don't know if I'll be going home for all of summer vacation, either. Maybe just a week or two. Depends... There's a chance I might get a position as a camp counselor with Concordia Language Villages. It's a kids' summer camp thing with added language immersion, though I don't know if I should apply to help teach English or Chinese (or maybe even French, if I magically regain it all). $600 for 2 weeks with room and board isn't too bad, right? That's like...$7.50 an hour if we're going by the 40 hr/wk standard, which seems a little low, but it includes living expenses and stuffs.

I don't know. That would seriously cut in on my game time >:)

Wii~ I'm a comin' home for you~

OMG it's been like a month since I last had any serious game time, and that was Rune Factory, so maybe that doesn't even count. (Passed the game, yeah, but still didn't get married. Hey, I gots teh cold feet, aight?) Oh, and Absolute Obedience doesn't count either. (Consider that your b-day present, Mattikins.) That's just hilarity with a side of porn. *shniffle* I wants my Metroid back... and my Fire Emblem... (Do you have any idea how hard it is to be forcibly parted from RD halfway through the story? And of course when I pick it back up my strategy will be lacking since I don't have all my characters' stats memorized anymore. *twitch*)

Also, should I keep this apartment or find a new one? Farther is cheaper, but the longer commute might mean trouble. Moving back to the on-campus apartments might be an option, too. Well, a backup plan, maybe. If I go away for summer break, either to the camp or back home, I'll need to move out. No sense in paying a shitload of rent while I'm not even there, right? Right.

And I wants my Smash Brothers, which will come out while I'm Wii-less. Oh, the agony!

...The moral of this story is that being an adult sucks major balls. Gimme mah childhood back, space-time continuum!

• 1 brain devoured
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2/20/08 02:29 pm - sfdeajkl;sf gionfSMASH!!!!!

I. AM. SO. DEAD. CAN'T. CONCENTRATE. NEED. SLEEP. HATE. TESTS. STOP. IT.

When I think about it rationally, which is a Greatest Feats of Amazement!! in this state, it doesn't seem like I have that much shtuff to do. Yeah, well rationality can kiss my lardy ass because I'm fucking drained. I think the problem is that I've been comparing my workload to the past in terms of the amount of courses/credits/homework, and totally forgetting the everything else. Like that cooking for myself every day actually takes time, as does the obligatory grocery shopping, and the cleaning (haha...no), and the mini-commuting, and the bill-paying, and the self-loathing that comes with being mostly independent yet not quite because I sux with the making of the monies meaning I feel guilty for each $5 purchase I make since I haves no paying job...

Sometimes I have nightmares about my parents going bankrupt because of me, even though I do my best to live a frugal, miserly existence. They should so have not retired. And my tuition makes me flinch. Hell, the price of granola bars makes me flinch.

...The 10 papers I'll have to write for the internship makes me wanna hurl. And on top of that, what the hell is an "epenthesis"? Spirantization? Labialization? Rhotacism? Lambdacism? Metathesis? Syncope? Apocope? Geminization/degeminization? (Non-herpes) simplex? Partial distant anticipatory assimilation? Stab me in the eye with a spork because historical phonological changes in native Australian languages are slowly sucking away my will to live?

...
...
...

The moral of that story is that uh...hey, I should go do my Chinese homework now.

• Eat a brain!

2/14/08 10:38 pm - shrieking potatoes!

Ok, so it refused to update. Grah! If my lovingly typed entry manages to show up, then I'll just have off myself. But in short, Valentine's Day blablah. ESL blablah. The demi-God of ESL's name is Schrient Tartoffel Schtoffel just because I said so, blablah. His father was a second-rate auto mechanic at a shady chop shop in Detroit and his mother is the Almighty Lord....blablah.

Phuc gave me a Valentine, etc.

OMG Mattikins - you have to play Absolute Obedience. It is gay. It is the funniest thing ever.

End.

• 5 brains devoured
• Eat a brain!